I'm not childless, I'm Childfree and lovin' it!
My curiosity got the better of me and I visited their page to read and see what they were all about. Here is their info section:
This is a group for men and women that have decided not to have children…it’s called childfree and not childless (that’s people that want kids but cannot for medical reasons). The childfree movement is non political and non religious…it’s such a bunch of people that have chosen a childfree lifestyle. The creator of this group, Natalija Harbinson, is not a man hater! In fact I love men which is why I’m not married….I’m a procrastinator….. Do I want the blonde guy or the arty guy or the nerdy scientist this week? It’s not a man hating or woman hating group…or anti-marriage… or anti-commitment….in fact, my aunt has been married for over 30 years but they didn’t want to have children. I don’t hate kids…I am an aunt to two little girls. It’s just that I want to enjoy my life in a different way. I realise that children would only stress me out, make me irritable and less responsive to the man in my life. I also don’t want to push a watermelon out of my punani and I have a billion other reasons to not want to be a mother. So let’s celebrate contraception and the choice me have made! Long live the childfree lifestyle! I’m just glad we live in an era where this lifestyle is possible, even though it’s still not accepted as the norm…..
Common things we hear from people with kids:
- It’s a blessing from God! (God’s only son was killed and Jesus didn’t have children)
- You are selfish!
- Don’t you like kids?
- You’ll feel differently when you have your own kids
- Who will take care of you when you’re old?
- You’ll change your mind!
- You’ll never experience the joy of being a grandparent
- (From my parents): “What if we had made the same choice? You wouldn’t be here”
What the childfree want to tell parents:
- Think of all the kids in our country that need to be adopted and are stuck in children’s homes; why didn’t you adopt rather than procreate?
- There are millions of starving kids in the world already ; why add more?
- I like to make love, not babies
- It’s a lifestyle choice like those that follow an eco-friendly way of life.
- It’s my choice, it’s nothing personal to children or parents. Let us be!
- Why force someone who doesn’t want to dance the Tango, to dance the Tango? I know what I want and don’t want out of life. Why make me miserable?
Once I got passed the shock that anyone would feel that way. (Yes, I realize that is a selfish viewpoint), I started to wonder why anyone would feel that way? There were several "responses" that I would have said to someone I was discussing this with. "They are blessings..."; "You'll change your mind."; "Dont you like kids?"...
But I realized that every one of my responses and their retorts back are like band-aids to the real issue at hand. Its like focusing on the grass stains on your jeans and completely overlooking the fact that they are torn and tattered beyond repair. The whole outlook is off.
So what is the real issue?
Woman was created by God to be a mother. To be a nurturer. We most often think of this as bearing our own children but it can be -and is- much more.
Yes, our very bodies speak to this face. We have cycles which enable us to become fertile and conceive. We have a womb in which a baby is knit together and grows into a completely unique individual from only two cells. (Will leave that awesome rabbit trail for another day!) We have breasts with which to nourish babies and our bodies create the most perfect of food for them -without our doing anything. Even the fact that our arms are where they are and bend where they do show Gods perfect design.
What about those who are unable to bear children? What about those who never marry? How are they called to be "mothers"?
It is by design. It is one of Womans created purposes. To be mothers. To be nurturers.
Some women will bear their own.
Some women will adopt.
Some women will nurture others via school, daycare, etc.
Some women will nurture other women.
Some women will nurture our elderly.
If are striving to live by Gods design, one of the natural roles we as Gods woman will fill is a nurturer. That is part of Gods best for our lives. That is His plan for all women.
So someone choosing a "childfree" life is not choosing Gods plan. They are not choosing Gods will. But what is sad to me, is when you think of the fact that by choosing to remain "childfree", they are not choosing Gods best for their lives. They are missing out! They will always be searching for something to fill that void in their lives -the one thing that will create true fulfillment and contentment in their lives.
Choosing a "childfree" life is not choosing Gods best. Why would anyone choose It truly breaks my heart...
Psalm 127
- 1.
- Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keepsawake in vain.
- 2.
- It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors ; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
- 3.
- Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
- 4.
- Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
- 5.
- How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 128
- 1.
- How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways.
- 2.
- When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands, You will be happy and it will be well with you.
- 3.
- Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine Within your house, Your children like olive plants Around your table.
- 4.
- Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the LORD.
- 5.
- The LORD bless you from Zion, And may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.
- 6.
- Indeed, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel !
Posts
I realize that the page is not based on a Christian worldview, but the question raised is valid. Did Jesus Christ miss out on a blessing because He was "Childfree?"
ReplyDelete@John
ReplyDeleteNo, I do not believe Jesus was missing out on a blessing in any way. Two reasons come to mind right away...
1. Jesus was a man and therefore not created to nurture children in the same way.
2. God calls some to remain single (men and women) which would then also mean they are called to remain childless- though not necessarily by choice. Women who never have children are still nurturers by nature and do so in other ways than via their own children.
So really, Jesus wasnt "childfree" -a choice, He was "childless" -a calling, here on earth.
I'm still thinking this through. The O.T. makes it sound relatively clear cut, but Father, Son, and Spirit fulfill all of the roles as One. Jesus Himself was a master of nurture.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we also confuse calling with choice. I understand the purpose of your blog, and this posting, I'm just thinking a bit deeper here. (Didn't Jesus make a choice not to marry and to have children? He was "fully man.")
@John
ReplyDeleteYou are right that I have been trying to stick with the theme of the site -A Womans role and calling by God.
I do understand as well what you are saying in regards to calling/choice. In this specific instance (people deliberately choosing to be "childfree"), however, I dont believe that it is possible to confuse calling and choice. It is possible that the end result could be the same -maybe someone that is called to have no children also chooses that. By that I mean, you are choosing to not have children each time you take a birth control pill or use some/any other form of prevention. There is no question that it was their choice.
Where the choice comes to play is whether or not one chooses to walk in Gods calling. Paul was called to remain single but he chose to obey that calling. He was blessed with many spiritual children through that obedience.
I know of people (Christians) who avoided pregnancy for years and then when they did decide they wanted children, were not able to. In this instance did their choice to avoid pregnancy result in the inability to conceive or was it simply Gods calling for them to now have children. Maybe it is both? Only God knows.
The point is that we are all to obey His commands and one of them is a blanket command to "be fruitful and multiply" and goes with the truth that all children are a heritage, gift and a blessing.
As for Jesus Himself... He did choose to obey His calling from God to not marry or have children. His purpose on earth was not one of earthly children but is spiritual. He does have children that He nurtures, as you pointed out. And we are his eternally.
For more discussion/debate on this topic, I encourage you to visit this page: http://jeubfamily.com/2010/12/08/god-doesnt-want-us-to-have-children/
ReplyDelete