She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12 has been a verse of focus for me lately.  Well, that and 28b-29 which says, "Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:  "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.""  I want that to be said of me. 

We have been walking through a hard season in our lives.  Not long but hard.  The specifics dont matter because in time, the challenge will be different but there will still be one.  It is impossible to take two independant human beings and meld them together and not expect friction.  But how we walk through these seasons and what we learn from them is what matters. 

One of the things I have been learning (and trying to practice) is how to do "{my husband} good and not evil". What does that look like? 

My first thought was, "Of course I dont do him evil!" but then the thought hit me that if I am not doing him good, arent I really then doing him evil instead?  Granted, there is a middle-ground here where you can do nothing but the truth is, I want to do my husband good every chance I get. 

So, I tried thinking of scenarios during our days that I get to choose good or evil.  It didnt take me long.  In fact, an easy example came to mind of when we were together Friday night with friends having pizza and watching the Olympic opening ceremony.  There were comments (jokes) spattered throughout the evening about things their spouses did or do.  Several times I could think of things that my own husband does that would have gone right along with the conversation and probably elicited a few laughs along the way.  It was fun -all the laughing and joking- except for the looks the husbands gave.  It wasnt the delight that their wives were showing on their faces.  No, instead what I saw was the effect of "evil".  I am so glad God brought it to my attention early in the evening.  I am quite sure my own stories would have joined in eventually if He hadnt.  Instead, I made a purposed effort to think of stories where my husband did amazing, wonderful, thoughtful and loving things.  The looks on his face told me that I had indeed chosen "good" and not "evil".  And something interesting happened... suddenly there were more stories of "good" from the other couples as well! 

Lest you think I am trying to say I have it all figured out, I will be the first to say I dont -I am still learning.  If I start to think I do, God is quick to help remind me that I will never have it altogether.  Sometimes its the little things that we are doing and dont even realize it.  Like when I called my husband to convey a message and asked him why he didnt tell me about the subject matter and his response was, "I just dont like disappointing you."  Ouch.  I am still trying to figure out what I was doing that made him think he was a disappointment to me.  I was ashamed and you can be sure that now every facial expression, word and tone of voice is deliberate.  Even if I was disappointed in something he said or did, "disappointment" should never be a description of my view of him or his feeling from me. 

Think about it as you are going about your week.  Pay attention to the way you speak to your husband, the facial expressions you are using and the tone of voice. 

How are you doing your husband "good and not evil"? 

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