The heart of her husband trusts in her...

There are some descriptions of a godly woman and instructions to us that seem to be so easy at first.  The "easy" ones are different for each woman and yet none of them are easy all the time for everyone. Being kind, sensible, lovely, pure, not a gossip, etc, all sound easy but they do still take an effort to live out in our lives. 

Proverbs 31:11 says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain."  This was one of those verses that I had always skipped over -gladly thinking that I had at least one thing down.  My husband can trust in me for sure. He knows I will never intentionally betry his trust and that he can talk with me about anything. 

Or so I thought. 

I started thinking more deeply on the first part of this verse.  What exactly does it mean for the heart of my husband to trust in me?  I love another version which says he can "safely" trust as it speaks even more about the deep level of trust it descibes.  But still, how does that look lived out in my life? 

While its true that he knows he can talk with me about things, I recently realized he wasnt able to talk with me about everything.  And even worse, one of the areas where he felt couldnt "trust" me was one area where we both needed trust -being able to discuss my own attitudes, actions and struggles -my faults.  When I need correction, he needs to safely trust that I will be open to him and willing to listen without snapping back.  He needs to know that he can ask me to do something, not do something or do something different and that I will be able to discuss it respectfully.  I had always thought I was good at receiving correction.  In reality, I have been good at accepting it from other godly women and have even sought that out.  But when it came to my own husband, I was not so open.  Not so willing to have my own faults pointed out by the one person who knows me better than anyone else. 

Its not easy.  Not for me to receive and hear it but I think it is even harder for him to approach it.  The house is my "domain" and when he walks in the door, I have the greatest influence over what atmosphere he will encounter and he knows that.  If he wants to live in a peaceful home, he will avoid "upsetting me" in order to have that. 

He also opens himself up to criticism.  How many times have you been corrected by your husband and all you could think about was all the things he does wrong.  Do you reign your tongue or start pointing out all his faults instead?  Is he afraid to say something for fear that his own faults will be shoved in his face yet again?

Not only does my husband need to know that he can talk with me about his own faults and struggles, he needs to trust that he can come to me about mine.  Safely trust in me. 

What does "trust" and "safe" mean anyway?  Here are some synonyms for both:
Trust:  confidence, dependence, belief, reliable, faith
Safe:  not dangerous, dependable, trustworthy, harmless, secure, protected, supported

Wow.  I want him to feel that way.  Do I convey a place for "safe trust"?

As I thought more about this, I realized that there are so many other ways where my husband says or does things that convey his heart either trusting in me or not. 

When he brings me flowers, do I realize how much thought it took for him to do so and thank him appropriately?  It isnt the flowers as much as it the fact that he took the time and effort (yes, for men that is an effort) to think of some tangible way for him to show his love for me.  Do I appreciate that and then tell him?  I'm sad to say that I let the busy-ness of our morning delay my thanking him for birthday flowers.  A simple minute-long phone call would have shown him the gratitude I felt but, I delayed. By doing nothing, I showed an unthankful heart instead. 

Does the heart of my husband safely trust in me?  I want him to trust me in every way. The same way I trust him.  I want him to feel safe in confiding in me but also in approaching me when I need to have my own faults addressed.